I have no idea who you are, and what you need, so I am going to start with this one thing, which is the most important:
You are not broken.
There is nothing wrong with you. You are not damaged or unloveable or any of the other nasty things that certain unpleasant voices in your head may be telling you.
Things didn't work out because things didn't work out. There might be a reason for it. There might not.
But you are fine. Whatever happened, whatever went wrong, it is not your fault.
It's normal to ask questions about yourself when a relationship goes wrong. How could this happen? What does this say about me? How could I LET this happen? How can I fix this or fix myself or fix this other person or situation?
It's normal to have strong emotional reactions. However, they come on their own schedule and in their own ways. They aren't always the feelings you want or expect. Sometimes you aren't going to like them. They come up at inconvenient times, in inconvenient places and then vanish or turn into something else just when you think you've got them figured out.
It's normal to compare yourself to other people, or even The Other Person. Why is everybody happy but me? What do people know that I don't? What is the Other Person doing right now? How can they be moving on so quickly?
In short, it is easy to convince yourself that you are the most worthless, screwed-up person in the world (It is equally easy to convince yourself that the world is to blame, that you are "the smartest man left on the cinder." But that only works for so long). It is easy to find yourself lying awake at night wondering what is wrong with you, despairing that you'll ever able to fix it.
Or maybe that's just me.
Who knows? I write from my personal experience and ONLY from my personal experience. I'm not here to convince anyone of anything.
But I suspect I am not the only one who has ever felt this way. And I can tell you this with certainty.
You are going to be okay. In fact, you are okay NOW, whether or not you realize it.
There is nothing wrong with you. It's possible you have made unhelpful decisions, but that doesn't make you a deficient person. It means somewhere along the line, you came to believe certain things or learned to behave in a certain way.
It was your way of adapting to circumstances. All that's happened now is that circumstances have changed. And we learn to change with it.
You are not broken. You are not damaged. You do not need fixing.
If you remember nothing else you read on this blog, remember that.
-May All Beings Be Sexy
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