Don’t Wait For The Right Person

Here is something I used to believe:.

“I need to find the right person before I can know love.”

How does that feel to you?

A lot of people buy into it. A few of those people even admit it.

I was part of a larger portion. I said I didn’t believe in the Right Person Theory. I paid lip service to the idea that there is no Perfect Partner out there.

But in my heart of hearts, I believed the right person would come along and all the problems I had in previous relationships wouldn't be problems anymore.

“I need to find the right person before I can know love.”

I needed to rescue or be rescued. I needed the right person to come along and awaken my heart to its potential. And she would recognize I was perfect for her. We would fit together like puzzle pieces, no changes, compromises, or adaptations required.

“I need to find the right person before I can know love.”

I don’t believe that anymore.

This is what I do believe:

I need to know love before I can meet the right person.

My history bears this out. With each woman I have met, I’ve learned to love a bit better. Not just that woman, or the next one, but other people in my life too. Because each woman is different, I also learn to appreciate and develop different parts of me.

Every love is different. But I'm grateful for all of them.

When I was younger, I had a narrow range of love. I could only love a certain type of person in a certain type of way and only if they did certain types of things. Trying to find love that way was like tying a thread to a bullet and hoping to fire it through the eye of a needle.

Now love is easier. Partly because I grew up a little. But also because I have learned to love more different things about different people. I have told people on occasion that I fall in love with every woman I meet, and I am only half-joking.

I've also learned different ways to express love. My love is stronger, more flexible, and flows easier with change.

I think developing your ability to love is a good thing. If you’re single, it widens your options. Being confident in your ability to love frees you up to look at the things you need for a workable relationship: compatibility, personal preference, and the various other tangibles and intangibles that make one person a better fir than another.

If you’re with someone, drawing love from other sources means less pressure for them to be your only source of emotional support. And knowing you can find love elsewhere tends to remove a lot of the fear behind many relationship problems.

Want to find the right person?

Work backwards. Start with loving everyone as best you can. That doesn’t mean put up with people who mistreat you. It doesn’t mean have sex with any- and everyone. It doesn‘t mean over-commit or extend yourself in too many directions.

It just means love as many people as you can as best as you can. It doesn't have to be romantic or sexual love. You can show love to friends, family, strangers, pets...even inanimate objects (I'm a big fan of my couch). You can love music or concepts (truth, freedom, etc.) The list goes on and on.

You aren‘t going to run out of love. Give it freely.

The right person will be there

-May All Beings Be Sexy

Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.

Join The Heart Way Support Group on Facebook here.