This is a quote from a commenter at Susan Walsh's Hooking Up Smart blog. It's a myth I read about a lot, that guys with fewer options are more faithful than guys with a lot, or as The Unfortunate Rake eloquently puts it:
"Of course a beta male with few options is happy to be getting sex on the regular after marriage. He wasn’t getting laid much before, and certainly not with a variety of hot women. Life is better! On the other hand, the alpha male’s sex life has changed for the worse after marriage — having experienced the pleasures of variety, he actually knows what he is missing, unlike the blissfully ignorant beta male. "
My experience has been the opposite. When I was less sexually experienced I was more vulnerable to temptation because it was the forbidden fruit. Plus I wanted to know what else was out there or what I might be missing. Plus when temptation knocked there was the thought that "I might never get this opportunity again."
Now that I'm more experienced, I KNOW what else is out there. Plus I'm confident in my ability to attract women---if this one doesn't work out there are other women out there...I'm not going to run out.
All this makes it EASIER to be faithful not harder. I've experienced the risks and rewards so I have a more realistic sense of what sex with a new partner can and cannot do for me. I'm also more comfortable with temptation; I'm more familiar with it so I can handle it better than I might have been able to years ago. I've also learned It's a lot easier to find sex with a new partner for me than it is to find someone who I can not only enjoy great and varied sex with, but is also a friend, confidant, and support for me. Now that I have such a person in my life and I know how much it's worth, I'm a lot less willing to put it at risk for something that is relatively easy to get.
I'm not saying inexperienced guys are necessarily unfaithful, and that an experienced partner will never cheat. I'm saying judging someone based on their experience level instead of their character is a sucker's bet.
-May All Beings Be Sexy
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