One of the least comfortable and most awkward conversations in dating is when you turn someone down for a first or second date and they want to know why.
If the person is asking genuinely, I don't have a problem with it, but often it isn't so much a genuine request as a guilt trip or the beginning of an argument. And when you don't really know the person it's hard to tell whether or not they're being genuine
My advice is don't ask why unless you want to know. And if they tell you, don't argue with them, whether you agree with them or not, believe them or not, or feel it's fair or not
The only reason a person needs to not go out with someone is to not want to go out with them.
That equally applies to when you are turning someone down. You have no obligation to provide a reason or even have a reason besides "I don't want to go out with you." Anybody who forces the issue, tries to make you feel guilty, or wants to argue you out of your decision is being a jerk.
A female friend of mine recently got the why experience and for fun we brainstormed a bunch of answers from the cliche to the ridiculous.
None of your goddamned business.
It's not you it's me.
I'm focused on my career right now.
I don't feel a connection
My husband and I have decided we're going to try and work things out.
My STIs are acting up.
I forgot I'm a lesbian
The problem is, I'm TOO attracted to you.
My identity was recently stolen by my evil clone and I just got it back. I'm sorry but I have no idea who you are.
This whole time you've been part of a research experiment measuring studliness. You scored in the 98th percentile but it would be unethical of me to date a subject.
Got any of your own? The comments section is always open.
-May All Beings Be Sexy
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