"Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing."
-Coach Red Sanders
I love sports, especially basketball, NFL football, MMA, and (when it's played well) hockey.
One popular quality that sports-writers, coaches and athletes claim set successful teams and competitors apart is the "Will to Win."
Will to win doesn't apply to relationships. In fact, it screws them up royally.
A lot of people have trouble with their interpersonal lives because they're focused on "winning" the relationship.
"He has to call me."
"I'm not going to go talk to that woman who's been looking over here. If she wants me, she can come talk to me."
"My friend got a phone number so now I have to get at least two."
"I refuse to let this argument go/start talking to my partner again until he/she admits I was right/apologizes/does what I want"
Wanting to win in a relationship is usually not about wanting to win. It's about not wanting to lose.
More accurately, it's about FEAR of losing.
What's intersting though is constant trying to win and 'score-keeping' in a relationship--any relationship, romantic or otherwise, is a sure way to lose.
-May All Beings Be Sexy
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.