On a social-political level it makes sense. On an individual or relationship level, it’s important to be careful.
It’s easy to spend a lot of time wondering what it means to be a man or a woman, especially these days where roles and rules seem to be a constantly moving target. It’s easy to get caught up in either trying to measure up to those roles, fight against them, or try to change and redefine them.
I want you to remember something though.
Masculinity is not a thing. You can’t hold it in your hand or measure it or trade it to a passing merchant for a handful of magic beans. You can’t pop over to the neighbours and borrow a cup of femininity.
These things are IDEAS.
You can never measure up to them. You can’t transform them. You can’t shatter them.
Why? Because they don’t exist except inside hearts and minds.
Many of us find ourselves struggling with our own definitions of what it means to be a man or woman. Some of us are trying to live up to that role. Others are resisting it. Others are fighting against it or to redefine or change it with our choices.
But there is nothing there to change. There’s nothing to hold on to. There’s nothing to redefine.
There is no masculinity or femininity there. Because these things are ideas and the idea of a man can no more be a man than a picture of a Ferrari can drive you to work.
Ultimately, we are wrestling with ghosts, spending time and energy to prove something that can’t be proven, change something that can’t be changed, or fight something that can’t be fought.
At the individual and relationship level, the solution is to let go. Don’t worry about what it means to be a man. Don’t concern yourself with what it means to be a woman. Sever the Gordian knot by recognizing the whole thing is an illusion.
You aren’t chained to an idea. You’re free to be you, anyway you like.
Enjoy it and use it wisely.
-May All Beings Be Sexy